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How not to take things personally

How not to take things personally

Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series.

He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years’ experience in stimulating and supporting people.

With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

How not to take things personally

How not to take things personally

As the founder of Imboorling, Frederick Imbo, he created a series of interactive presentations and workshops that he and his team bring to companies, schools, governments, associations and conferences. The productions aim to stimulate personal growth and improve face-to-face communication.

He regularly coaches politicians, business leaders and speakers to increase their impact.

In 2019 he delivered the TEDx talk How not to take things personally? , which with more than 8 million views [1] is the most viewed Belgian TED talk ever.

Improve the quality of your life by not taking things personally.

The other day I was in a building running an errand. As I walked through the lobby toward the exit, a woman I didn’t know walked past me. As she did she said, “Buenas”–which is a standard greeting–, and I answered, “Buenas”, and kept going. Then I heard the woman say:

“You’re so rude. Learn some manners. When someone greets you, you should greet them back.”

I stopped and turned around, and I saw that the woman was talking to me. Obviously, she didn’t hear me when I answered her greeting. In addition, it was evident that she had concluded that I simply chose to ignore her, and she took it personally. Given her state of agitation, it was clear to me that she felt slighted. I told the woman that I had responded to her greeting, and it wasn’t my fault that she didn’t hear me. Then I left. What I really wanted to tell her was that she needed to learn how to stop taking things personally.

Whenever I walk into an elevator and there’s already someone in there, I say “Buenas”, because that’s a cultural practice in Latin America. Most of the time people answer my greeting. But sometimes they don’t. And when they don’t, I don’t take it personally.

I used to take things personally all the time, but now, for the most part, I don’t. How did I stop takings things personally (or at least get much better at it)? I learned certain strategies, which I’m going to share with you. Below you’ll find eight ways to stop taking things personally.

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How not to take things personally and live happier

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Misha Wilson

You can apply your skills here >

Misha Wilson

How To Sell Without Selling To Dominate The Competition…

Have you ever felt kind of weird thinking about “selling” someone?

Maybe even a little bit “icky” or “gross”…?

How would you like to be able to double your sales in half the time, WITHOUT ever having to “sell” anything to anyone?

If so, you’ll want to check out today’s video and watch through the entire thing until the very end.

Inside you’ll discover the SIMPLE trick that marketing experts use to amplify sales and exponentially increase their bottom-line… WITHOUT hard-selling, without the boiler room sales tactics, and without ever feeling like a gross use car sales just trying to make a quick buck.

Use this formula in your online business and you’ll have people practically begging to buy your products and services!

Misha Wilson

Misha Wilson

Give your audience a reason to like you

In social media marketing, or really any form of marketing, you rarely want to talk about yourself. This might seem counter intuitive but if you talk about things your audience cares about, educate them about the topics you are an expert in, and let them share their thoughts, they will be much more willing to listen to you when you do talk about yourself.

Remember, you are an expert in whatever you do and your audience knows that. This gives you the opportunity to demonstrate your expertise and build relationships with your customers. For example, if you are a hair salon owner, offer a daily tip about how to do your hair. This can be anything from “Tip: If you’re going to curl your hair, make sure you do not wash it for 12 hours before curling,” to a video tutorial about how to style your hair for a black tie event.

When you show off your expertise, your customers will appreciate you for educating them about the things they’re interested in. Also, the next time they are looking for a hair salon, they’ll think of you first because you gave them such great tips on how to do their hair at home.

Let your audience talk about themselves

No surprise here: people love to talk about themselves. Tap into that urge. Ask your audience questions related to your brand or create a poll and let them participate. The best thing about doing this is that you’re not only increasing engagement but you’re learning who your audience is, what they’re interested in, and what they’re looking to learn from you.

Make your audience laugh

So many people are afraid to post things that are not directly related to their brand. This is a fear you need to overcome. Again, we return to the hair salon. You can post a picture of a dog having a bad hair day and have a caption that says, “Looks like Fido should have come into the salon today.” You can also go a little further off topic but make sure to bring it back to your audience.

Use the 80/20 rule

Now comes the part where you get to promote your business—yes, you can still do that, of course! The key is to stick to the 80/20 rule for your content. By building relationships with your customers and ensuring 80% of your content is for them, you can then throw in 20% about yourself without the fear of scaring them away. Since you’ve engaged your customers with the valuable information they’re looking for, allowed them to talk about themselves, and entertained them, they’ll be willing to listen to your promotions without feeling like they’re just another person you’re selling to.

Not a salesman? That’s perfect! People don’t want to be (overtly) sold to. There are numerous ways to spin your content so you are selling them without making them feel like you’re selling them. This is the key way to build engagement and relationships.

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