How not to take things personally
Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series.
He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years’ experience in stimulating and supporting people.
With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.
How not to take things personally
As the founder of Imboorling, Frederick Imbo, he created a series of interactive presentations and workshops that he and his team bring to companies, schools, governments, associations and conferences. The productions aim to stimulate personal growth and improve face-to-face communication.
He regularly coaches politicians, business leaders and speakers to increase their impact.
In 2019 he delivered the TEDx talk How not to take things personally? , which with more than 8 million views [1] is the most viewed Belgian TED talk ever.
Improve the quality of your life by not taking things personally.
The other day I was in a building running an errand. As I walked through the lobby toward the exit, a woman I didn’t know walked past me. As she did she said, “Buenas”–which is a standard greeting–, and I answered, “Buenas”, and kept going. Then I heard the woman say:
“You’re so rude. Learn some manners. When someone greets you, you should greet them back.”
I stopped and turned around, and I saw that the woman was talking to me. Obviously, she didn’t hear me when I answered her greeting. In addition, it was evident that she had concluded that I simply chose to ignore her, and she took it personally. Given her state of agitation, it was clear to me that she felt slighted. I told the woman that I had responded to her greeting, and it wasn’t my fault that she didn’t hear me. Then I left. What I really wanted to tell her was that she needed to learn how to stop taking things personally.
Whenever I walk into an elevator and there’s already someone in there, I say “Buenas”, because that’s a cultural practice in Latin America. Most of the time people answer my greeting. But sometimes they don’t. And when they don’t, I don’t take it personally.
I used to take things personally all the time, but now, for the most part, I don’t. How did I stop takings things personally (or at least get much better at it)? I learned certain strategies, which I’m going to share with you. Below you’ll find eight ways to stop taking things personally.
